are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think a kid would responsible me up
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
