I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
