listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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