So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
