...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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