Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
