my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
love makes seman taste better
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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