Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
