Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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