I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
