And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
