K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize