You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
