I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
