I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
