you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
