Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
A bitchslap is in order.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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