You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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