i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
