Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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