It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize