she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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