i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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