Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
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woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
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I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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