Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
