Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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