We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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