just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
