Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just made out with a guy for $7.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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