Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
