man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
