I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
