When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
