Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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