Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I currently don't understand fingers.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
