just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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