my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
