So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
