Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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