He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize