I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
