So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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