Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
