this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
