I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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