It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
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We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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