It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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