Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
