i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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