I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
