That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
