I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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