theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
