why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
