I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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