Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
