You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
