So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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