Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
