worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
