Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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