I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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