i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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