So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
