You can't special order awesome
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
